Sorry I’ve been away for so long, I’ve been busy befriending people irl so that they can ignore me. After all, you can’t be ignored by people you’ve never met, and then you’d never have that wonderful experience of hating everyone.
it’s kind of ridiculous that we have to work our asses off for 13 years in school just to work our asses off for another 2-8+ years in college just to work our asses off in a job that we probably don’t even like, when we were born on this earth without a choice and i for one certainly didn’t sign up for that
(via mewlingfluff)
omg… it is really weird what we find gross and what we don’t find gross. i’ll put a dude’s weiner in my mouth but if he uses my toothbrush it’s over.
(via mewlingfluff)
how to ask someone out
- you can’t
- nobody likes you
- ????????????
(via mewlingfluff)
Louis C.K.: Lice at the Beacon Theatre
“That’s such a confusing thing to me, because you believe that God gave you the Earth, that God created the Earth for you. Why would you not have to look after it? Why would you not think that, when he came back, he’d go ‘What the fuck did you do? I gave this to you motherfucker, are you crazy? The polar bears are brown, what’d you do?! What’d you do to the polar bears, did you shit all over every polar bear? Who spilled this shit? Come over here, did you spill this? What is that?
(sniveling idiot voice) ‘It’s oil, it’s just some oil. I didn’t mean to spill it’
‘Well why did you take it out of the fucking ground?‘Cause I wanted to go faster, it’s not fast enough, and it was cold’
‘What the fuck do you mean it’s cold? I gave you everything you needed you piece of shit.’‘Well cause jobs, I wanted a job’
‘What is a job? Explain to me, what’s a fucking job?’‘You work at a place and people call when their game doesn’t work and you help them figure it out’
‘What do you that for?’‘For money’
‘What do you need MONEY for?’‘For food’
‘Just eat the shit on the floor, I left shit all over the floor, fucking corn and wheat and shit, ground it up make some bread what are you doing?’
‘Yeah but it doesn’t have bacon on it, I like when it has like bacon on it’”
I was crying I was laughing so hard. You eat that shit on the floor. God left it everywhere!
(via thecuntosaurus)
Architecture : Politics
Ice Cream : Pansexual
